No Grunting?

Each day, as we walk, run, drive, or roller-blade down the street we are bombarded with signs. The inside of a gym is no different. From shameless self-promotion to advertisements to the holiday gym schedule, you could spend a day at the gym reading.
Yes, I do read all the signs. In the locker room I read about new hair products, on the treadmill I read that I can join this gym for only $20 *when I sign up a friend. How will I know if my 5:15 step class will be cancelled due to the weather? Undoubtedly there will be a sheet of printer paper taped up to a door providing me with the information I need. And also, bulletin boards and alive and well.
One day I saw a sign that I had never seen before. It was like a breath of fresh air in the overly air conditioned weight room. Taped onto the far wall, in bold, black ink was the following:

This is a NO GRUNTING AREA

Well! When I saw that, I almost fell over laughing. Here was the only rule for a weight room full of sweaty, tough, bodybuilders with 64oz bottles of Gatorade. As I entered the room, my eyes kept darting back and forth from the black and white sign to the silent bodybuilders.
Then I realized something was missing from the scene: It was the loud, competitive, grunts, moans, and cries from the weight lifters. How are they expected to lift three times their body weight without making a peep? I began to have my doubts about the new rule. It forced me to listen to James Blunt's music that was playing on the speakers...and after working out to that, I think I prefer the sounds of real men.

What Not To Wear When You Sweat

So, you are going to the gym?
That's nice. What are you going to wear?

These are the most common looks I have seen at the gym lately. If you have never come across one of the following categories, you are probably it.
Just Rolled Out of Bed: This look consists of the baggy shirt, possibly with holes in it, as well as miss-matched socks and most likely the shorts are missing the elastic.
High-Tech-Micro-Breathable-Sweat-Proof Outfit: I hope those matchy-matchy outfits look as good as they sound, because a 19-year old Vietnamese girl was harassed and verbally abused to make you look totally cute at the gym.
I Played Sports in College: Thanks for matching your UConn Huskies cross country shorts with a Johns Hopkins Blue Jay's lacrosse T-shirt. Did you play on the teams, or did you visit the school store? I can tell as soon as you start running...
Blast from the Past: Shortly after Flashdance was released, the fitness world discovered that bouncing your stretches was incorrect, because it turns out bouncing is damaging to the muscles. Studies have also shown that wearing a leotard, stripped leggings, leg warmers, and multiple sweat bands is damaging on the eyes of others.

With so many styles and colors and materials and designs, it can be overwhelming to dress for a workout. You should not sweat it, because no one really cares about what you are wearing; the people at the gym are concerned with one thing: their own workout.

Let me close with an anecdote:
As I was entering the locker room at a gym where I teach group exercise classes, I noticed one of the members of my class changing. As an instructor, I notice what the members of my classes wear, because that is how I give corrections ("Blue tank-top -- keep your abdominals tight!"). So, I saw her remove the green razor-back tank top, which she wore last class, from her locker and put it on. THE SAME SHIRT. FROM LAST CLASS. SITTING IN THE LOCKER. FOR ONE WEEK.
I will not mention the rest of her outfit, which had been collecting fungus in the locker, that she wore to my class...

To make my point crystal, it is crucial that cleanliness come before fashion. I never want to see a repeat of what I saw in the locker room that day.

Blessings.

Hello and Welcome

Welcome to my blog.
Just like most beginnings, I am entering this blogger-relationship with confidence, an open-mind and modesty. Hopefully these qualities will last throughout my posting, but I make no promises, although I might take up a bet...

My blogs will consist of two topics, not even distantly related, yet equally riveting. The first concerns gym goers, ex-gym goers, or gym member wannabes. As a certified group exercise instructor, I will provide insights into the mysteries and awes of group exercise and prove that not all gym classes look like the commercials for Bally Total Fitness. You may even find some butt toning exercises thrown in a blog here and there.
I will also be blogging about babysitting and how you can make a killing from other under-the-table jobs. But I will mostly focus on what to do with the kids that you are left with, and how to get them to talk to you.

kbye.